Thursday, 29 April 2010

Steve Jobs - iFuckingHypocrite

I'm not a fan of Apple products. I think they're incredibly overpriced, often lack crucial features, which are often deliberately held back to force users to upgrade to newer versions of the device. "Form over function" seems to be the strategy, and I think it's a fucking stupid one. I want a phone, or a computer, not a fucking overpriced fashion accessory. And I certainly don't want anything as fucking pointless as the iPad. It has to be said, I might "not be a fan" of Apple products but I fucking hate fans of their products. They have a smugness seldom seen anywhere else (which must come free with the product) and if you point out any flaws in the products (and yes, there are flaws) their indignant defence of the product and its flaws like no other owner of any other product reveals a hidden need to justify to themselves the Apple Tax they've shelled out on.

So you'll excuse my amazement when I read fucking shit like this:

Mr Jobs said Flash was made for an era of "PCs and mice" and performed poorly when translated to run on touchscreen smartphones and handheld devices.

He also criticised the technology for being only under the control of Adobe.

Oh, because Apple's management strategies and business tactics are just fucking philanthropic, aren't they?

The Apple boss added that it fell short on security and was "the number one reason Macs crash".

Hang on, I thought Macs didn't crash? I thought that was the reason their smug, sneering owners lamely tried to justify spending three times the cost of a comparable product on their Apple device?

Besides, my PCs run flash all the time, on both Windows and Ubuntu, and I can't remember the last time either of them crashed.

The letter provoked an avalanche of comments online, with many saying Apple's restrictions on what can be done with its software go far beyond those on Flash.


Fuck off Jobs.

And for goodness sake, eat a few good square meals, you're looking practically emaciated these days.

Tuesday, 27 April 2010

To paraphrase Caroline Aherne...

Clive Sinclair marries a 33 year-old lap dancer.

"When asked what qualities attracted him to his future bride he replied: 'Well she is a former Miss England, isn't she.'"

What they should have asked her is "So, what first attracted you to the balding, seemingly grumpy, but definitely old millionaire Sir Clive Sinclair then?"

Monday, 26 April 2010

Blinky's hypocrisy

So, Blinky Balls has been fined for using a mobile whilst driving.

Mr Balls, married to fellow minister Yvette Cooper, told the Daily Mirror the incident happened last Sunday as they drove from Yorkshire to London.

He took the phone off its hands-free cradle because he did not want to wake his children, he said - and was spotted by police "almost immediately".

I guess it's one of the better excuses to come up with, but maybe the police will be able to confirm whether the kids were even in the car or not.

However, this bit's just classic:

He said he supported the law "100%" as it was protecting people's safety.

100%? Are you sure it's 100%, Ed? Maybe not, oh, I dunno, 75%? Only that surely if you fully supported this law, you'd fucking follow it?

Or maybe, just maybe you're just like every other fucking dispicable politician who introduces laws, publicly supports them, but privately believes they don't apply to him.

You fucking hypocritcal cunt.

Saturday, 24 April 2010

"Look, you've punished us enough about Iraq"

Crows Millitwat:

Meanwhile, Foreign Secretary David Miliband has accused Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg of peddling a form of "anti-politics".

He told the Guardian that Mr Clegg's core argument "that we have had 65 years of failure in this country" is a myth and claimed a Labour vote was the "only way to keep progressive politics governing this country".

In the interview he also said: "Look, you've punished us enough about Iraq."

Um, excuse me, you arrogant, pious, self-satisfied cunt, I rather think we haven't.

The fucking gall of the man.

I fucking hate you Milliband, I hate your arrogance, and I hate your stupid smug fucking face.

Friday, 23 April 2010

Cameron's vision for Britain

Now we just need someone to do one for Brown.

Thursday, 22 April 2010

Harriet Harman in "pot calling kettle black" shocker

Harriet Harman says David Cameron is spoiled and arrogant

So let me get this straight, someone from the New Labour cabinet is accusing the Tories of being arrogant?

Jesus fucking Christ.

Wednesday, 21 April 2010

Did Willie Walsh put a gun to the government's head?

Certainly looks like it to me.

Old Holborn first smelt a rat at 7pm yesterday, spotting that planes were flying in UK airspace.

People I've spoken to who watched this site last night noticed lots of BA flights heading for the UK and circling round it multiple times.

Now Sky News have latched onto the idea that maybe Willie Walsh held a gun to the UK Government's head:

Willie Walsh has attacked the airport jet ban - as suspicions grow that the British Airways boss' decision to send 26 UK-bound planes into the sky forced the Government's hand.

It must have been a difficult choice for Gordon - on the one hand, he probably wanted airspace to close until a few people had been shown gratefully climbing off a Navy ship only to be greeted by his dribbling face; but at the other hand, he likely had an angry Irish man on the phone said "Right then Gordon, I've got hundreds of UK citizens in the air waiting to land, are you going to let them?".

Now it seems the CAA might be sort of admitting that the closure of the airspace might have been knee-jerk. Gosh, really?

Tuesday, 20 April 2010

Another example of why Islam is such a backwards medieval religion

Faced with any kind of criticism of Islam, it seems its supporters are always so quick to point out how much Islam has given the world in terms of science, maths, etc - all of this loses credibility somewhat when you get utter fucking nutjobs like this fucking tool:

Promiscuous women are responsible for earthquakes, a senior Iranian cleric has said.

Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi told worshippers in Tehran last Friday that they had to stick to strict codes of modesty to protect themselves.

Listen matey, you're giving the entire religion a bad name with your intolerant fucking ignorance. I know you probably live in a tent in the desert, and all, but have you even heard of geological faults? You might be ever so happy to declare that

"Many women who do not dress modestly lead young men astray and spread adultery in society which increases earthquakes," he said.

but don't you have the slightest clue that the rest of the world is laughing at you, you fucking cretin?

And who is this Sedighi who claims to know better than science how earthquakes happen?

I rest my case.

Go back to raping goats, you fucking basket-case.

Standard New Labour Election Campaign tactics

Class War.

I'm not sure why the BBC are reporting this as news, it's been New Labour's standard election tactic for as long as I can remember: "Don't vote for the Tories, they're all posh and want to legalise fox hunting." (say the Champagne Socialist cunts as they much taxpayer-funded caviar and quaff champers).

A quick glance over Kerry's blog proves my case perfectly.

Friday, 16 April 2010

Get ready to cringe....

at 0:06

Ooh, ducky!

Wednesday, 14 April 2010

Get ready for more greenwash...

As old favourite Roger Harrabin reports:

The second of three reviews into hacked climate e-mails from the University of East Anglia (UEA) is set to be released later.

It has examined scientific papers published over 20 years by the Climatic Research Unit (CRU) at the heart of the e-mail controversy.

In fairness, the BBC has reported the issues people have with Lord Oxburgh's interests. But still, notice how Harrabin reports how the mails were "hacked" - were they? I thought that hadn't been confirmed yet...

However, if the panel follows the recent House of Commons Science and Technology Committee report into the e-mails it will conclude that the scientists involved had no intention to deceive.

Odds that they'll follow the Committee report?

Odds that once this review is over, we'll be told again "the science is now decided"?

Fuck sake.

Update: Well, what a fucking surprise.

Friday, 9 April 2010

More of this, please.

Thursday, 8 April 2010

Those Greedy Morlocks Again

The Welsh are stepping up their election campaign, with Plaid Cymru claiming:

that under the Barnett formula which allocates Treasury funding to the nations of the UK, Wales is being "short-changed to the tune of £300m a year".

Un-fucking-believeable. They already get public spending far higher per person than England, but yet they want MORE?

Let us not forget, that in 2006-07, tax revenues of £19.6bn were raised in Wales, but yet Government expenditure in Wales was £28.2bn - leaving a shortfall of £9.1bn. [Source]

And you're claiming you're being short changed? Fuck me, how much money do you think you deserve? You're already being overpaid to the tune of over NINE BILLION POUNDS and yet you're trying to blackmail the party that wins the election with threats of withholding your worthless vote unless you get MORE?

Here's a suggestion, you pasty-faced phlegm-gargling cunts, how about you fucking EARN more money by getting more of your lazy, "can't work cosov my bad back, see", benefit-scrounging population to do some fucking work, and pay some fucking tax? I bet you're just itching for a hung parliament, aren't you, you fucking grasping cunts. I can't wait to see what kind of levels of undeserved funding you try and fucking stipulate in any deal with the main parties.

Plenty of Welsh people want full devolution - well, after reading this kind of shit, I'm all for devolution, frankly. Let's go for it. You can have your own parliament, you can raise your own taxes and spend it on your own country.

But don't forget you currently have a £9 billion hole you'd have to fill, which I can only presume is currently being filled by those of us over the border who can actually be bothered to work and pay taxes. You might struggle to raise that if all funding ties were cut, as I would hope they would be if full devolution was implemented.

So, devolution then. What's that? You've gone all quiet....

MP's on NEETs

NB: a NEET is a young person who is Not in Education, Employment, or Training - essentially a chav sat on their fat arse all day watching Jeremy Kyle, only ever venturing out the house to collect their "benfids".

And fuck me if the MPs aren't talking sense on this one:

Young people in England should not receive state benefits unless they are working, training or in education, a committee of MPs says.

MPs are suggesting adopting a system used in Holland to reduce the number of 16 to 25-year-olds not in education, employment or training - "Neets".

They said the Dutch equivalent of jobseeker's allowance was dependent on being in work, education or training.

The Dutch may spend a large amount of time smoking weed, wearing clogs, cycling, and looking at tulips, but they do seem to do things better.

And the report's wording is quite amusing:

The report said: "It is crucial that young people, particularly those who are most disadvantaged, should not be deterred by the benefits system from accessing opportunities in education and training.

What they actually mean is, that it's all too easy to just sit at home doing fuck all and being paid for it, and so they shouldn't be tempted by the benefits system to do that.

The MPs also raised concerns about the term Neets, saying it was a negative term that risked "stigmatising the young people to whom it is applied".

They stigmatise themselves, by expecting the taxpayer to fund their existence with no contribution from themselves. And I'm sure they'd prefer the term "NEET" to "Fucking lazy chav", which would be my choice.

Couple demand compensation for their fucking stupidity

crow the Beeb.

A newly-married couple from North Somerset said their dream honeymoon was ruined after a travel agency sent them to the wrong airport in Egypt.

Kate and Marc Bartlett booked for Sharm el-Sheikh, but realised on the plane they were heading to Hurghada - more than 550 miles from their hotel.

And at no time before this point, having thinking they'd booked for Sharm el-Sheikh, did they query why the tickets they'd recieved presumably had Hurghada on it?

No, apparently not, because

"We thought it's Egypt and that's the name of the airport."

Yeah, of course that's an easy mistake to make, after all, it's in the same country, so it can't be that far away, because

"We travel a lot to Portugal and just fly into Faro and then travel to Lagos [about an hour's drive]."

Never mind that Egypt is ten times the size of Portugal.

OK, so the travel company booked them to the wrong destination. But mistakes happen, and had they phoned them up as soon as they knew the mistake had been made, it could have been rectified at the company's expense, and you never know, they might have thrown in a little extra to say sorry. But no, apparently the fact the incorrect destination was in the same country meant that it was fine and dandy, because they'll just drive to the original destination, "just like portugal".

If nothing else, I'd be checking the destination purely because of Ryanair's favourite trick of flying you nowhere near the actual destination.

A couple sit on their DFS leather Sofa (still not paid off after 7 years)
and whinge about their own fucking stupidity.

I've been quiet

Sorry. Normal service will resume ASAP.