Extra £825,000 to "ease" congestion in Bristol

Gushes the Beeb:

An extra £825,000 is to be ploughed into tackling congestion in the greater Bristol urban area.

The money was awarded by the Department for Transport after targets to ease congestion in the area were exceeded.

Hooray! Does that mean we might see improved traffic light synchronicity (which would benefit ALL road users), maybe removing a good few sets of lights? (ditto)

Of course not. Something that motorists might benefit from? Unthinkable!

The money will be spent on further encouraging people to walk and cycle to work or take up public transport instead.

Great. A poster campaign I shouldn't wonder. What a great way to spend the cash. Because of course, we all need to be "encouraged", so if we choose not to walk or cycle, there must be something wrong with us, right? I guess they feel that previous useless poster campaigns weren't "on message" enough.

Work will also be carried out to improve junctions to help traffic flow and shorten bus journey times.

I rather suspect this translates as "Work will also be carried out to help bus flow and shorten bus journey times".

The money goes to the West of England Partnership, which brings together councils in Bristol, South Gloucestershire, Bath and North East Somerset, and North Somerset.

This would be the same WoEP who are planning on turning one of Bristol's best cycling assets - the cycle path - into a bus lane?

The TRUTH on "Being Offended"

They're Waking Up!

A government proposal to charge people with fixed phone lines 50p per month to help fund ultra-fast broadband has been condemned as "unfair" by MPs.

Too fucking right it's unfair. Why should I pay a higher price on my broadband so some Morlock who has chosen to live in the middle of buttfuck-nowhere can enjoy faster internet access? It is not my problem and I fail to see why I and everyone else living in most areas that do have fast speeds should stump up the cash to solve it.

We're probably going to get this shit anyway though:

The government said the plan was the "best way to drive further investment".

It maintains that faster speeds are "vital to the UK's growth".

What the fuck kind of "growth" (economic or otherwise) do they think we're going to get from people who can't get fast internet access currently? Do they think some fishwife living in Abergavenny is going to rescue the economy if she has 2MB broadband?

But the Department for Business, Innovation and Skills said that the government wanted everyone to "access the huge social, economic and health benefits" that high speeds offer.

"Our analysis shows that without intervention, the market will only reach up to 70% of the country, so it's vital we act now to ensure no area is left behind," said a spokesman.

"The 50p duty we have proposed is modest, fair and affordable and is the best way to drive further investment in our networks."

Bis believes the tax will allow a £1 billion upgrade of the UK's digital networks and will be of particular benefit to rural areas.

...and of no benefit whatsoever to most people paying the tax who don't live in the middle of nowhere.

New Labour Socialism at it's finest - taxing the many to benefit the few.

The BBC always pick the best images

...of Gordon Brown



They've clearly selected a photo of him mid-speech, because it makes him look like the gurning mong that he is. They used to do it with David Blunkett too:



You can see the toe-curlingly awful speech that Brown's shot came from here. Especially the bit when he says he knows that Labour has made mistakes (yeah, you don't fucking say) and that he knows he's not perfect, which is clearly something he's been told that he must say rather than something he wants to say or even feels that he should.

An interesting comparison

Map of UK Benefit Claimants


Map of Labour Voters



So presumably we'll see some extra benefits offered to people in the run up to the election. Also known as "buying votes with my money".

Morlocks demand more money

In a BBC Article that states that a hung parliament would be "best outcome for Wales", they quote

At the top of such a list would be a demand for Wales to get what Mr Jones calls "its fair share of funding... so that we can protect our schools and hospitals from the cuts in public spending".

So, Mr Jones, what would your idea of "fair share" be? Given that Wales has a higher percentage of benefit claimants than the UK (and consistently always has - source - with large numbers of people claiming incapacity benefit), 25% higher spending on health than England and that the Barnett formula means that you get far higher spending per person than England, I would agree it is unfair, but not in the same way that you would, I'm sure.

Yet another speech "leaked" to the press

Gordon Brown is to question the Tories' credentials as a "modern, mainstream" party, saying the image they "present" is undermined by their policies.

He will tell a conference of centre-left European leaders that Conservative policies would endanger the recovery and hurt middle-class families.

Wasn't John Bercow supposed to stop all this shit?

The BBC has learned that, on Saturday, Mr Brown will outline the four main themes he hopes will help Labour to a fourth term in government.

I wonder how the BBC "learnt" that? Well, it's because Number 10 have sent them the fucking script.

Shirley Brown/Marshall Part IV

City councillor Shirley Brown has appeared before Bristol magistrates after being charged for calling a fellow councillor a "coconut".

Crows the Evening Post.

The trial is likely to take place at Bristol Magistrates' Court before a district judge, unless there is an application by Mrs Brown's solicitor to have it moved to another city.

Somewhere in Florida, perhaps?

On ITV1 right now

Piers Morgan is actually sucking Gordon Brown's cock.

Slurp, slurp....Mmmmm Gordon, do you like that? Oh, you're so great Gordon, mmmm, don't you love how I've got an Audience from Labour Party HQ to laugh at all your unfunny jokes, mmm, slurp slurp.

This is worse than Madeley's Blair Iraq War Support.

Someone in Labour has a lot of power over the TV at the moment.

Won't somebody think of the children?

Won't somebody think of the children?!???!!

As if the various stories we've heard couldn't get any more ridiculous, the BBC has a treat in store for us:

A primary school in Weston-super-Mare has been criticised for banning Valentine cards to save pupils the "emotional trauma" of being rejected.

Children at Ashcombe Primary School were stopped from exchanging cards because the head teacher said they were not emotionally mature enough to cope.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Peter Turner told parents of the 430 pupils that cards would be confiscated.

Has he had a few "difficult" rejections in his life or something?

So now kids can't be rejected on valentines, they can't compete in competitive races or sports in case they lose, they can't compete in tests in case they fail - what kind of fucking mollycoddled retards are we raising these days?

How the fuck do they expect these kids to cope later in life? Life is shit and it's full of fucking disappointments and rejections. If you're wrapped in cotton wool even at an early age, it can't make these any easier to deal with.

You fucking nannying cunts.

Nice work if you can get it

Lord Carswell, whose main residence is in Northern Ireland, attended the House of Lords for just one day, but yet claimed £12,878 in travel expenses, which included £2,346 car expenses, £1,327 on Rail/Ferry/Coach, and £9,206 on air travel. For one trip? Did he go via Sydney?

What a fucking joke.

H/T Old Holborn

Justice for Wilbur? Nope, justice for the snake. Good.

You may remember a story I commented on last year about two arrogant cat owners who believed their feral creature had a god-given right to shit where it pleased, and the misplaced indigation they had when it was gobbled by a snake which was in another garden.

Well, it seems that this is one of the few occasions where the government has got it right.

"Once grown the threat is almost entirely confined to the owner's home, as large snakes rapidly become torpid outdoors in the UK climate," he added.

"On balance, the listing of constricting snakes on the Schedule to the DWAA was therefore considered unlikely to achieve the aims of the Act and so they were not added to the Schedule.

"The Government has no plans to add them to the Schedule in the near future."

Good. Maybe now the arrogant owners can realise that they were in the wrong. The "rant" posted on the Justice for Wilbur site is just ridiculous:

So, by leaving his snake unattended and allowing it to kill Wilbur, my neighbour has done nothing wrong in the eyes of the law. Maybe so, but not in the eyes of everyone else that knows about this, who, as one, are horrified.

Nope. I'm not. I know most people that commented on local news sites about this weren't horrified. Maybe horrified at your arrogance, that you let a cat roam wherever it pleased, but then got angry when something happened to it.

As if losing Wilbur in these circumstances wasn’t bad enough, what has made all this even harder to bear is the knowledge - gathered from the RSPCA and the Police - that legally no crime has been committed, so that in effect, nothing can be done, no-one is responsible, no-one can be held to account, and so he's died in vain.

No - you are responsible, and you can be held to account. You let the cat roam wherever it wanted!

The modicum of justice we have achieved is for the snakes owner to be issued with a ‘verbal warning’ from the RSPCA (who’s hands were tied), so that if anything like this happens again, he will be prosecuted.

Why? It was in the confines of the owner's garden.

Well sorry, NO, that’s not good enough, not by a long chalk.....

No it's not good enough. For a start, YOU should have accepted some fucking responsibility for this.

I was warned not to do a leaflet drop naming the snakes owner or his address to people who live in the vicinity or indeed to warn them of any potential threat to themselves, their children or pets; as we might be sued!

Cat-owner vigilantism? The mind boggles.

The ‘what if a child is next.....’ scenario cuts no ice.

Because it's bollocks.

I tell you, the World’s gone bloody mad.

Because everyone thinks differently to you, they're the mad ones? I expect the deranged bag lady pushing a Tesco trolley full of rubbish around Broadmead thinks that the world is mad.

Evening Post fighting Kerry McCarthy's election campaign

With this article, which unless I'm very much mistaken has the acrid stench of a Labour election campaign about it.

Total ban on smoking around the corner?

Possibly, if this Al JaBeeba report is anything to go by...

SouthwestOne Update

Turns out, unsurprisingly, the Police don't like it.

Frustrated officers have told the Evening Post they are wasting hours every day battling with the IBM system, implemented in November, when they should be out catching criminals.

It was introduced as part of the Southwest One, which has seen information technology, finance and much of the administration of the police force, Somerset County and Taunton Deane Borough council streamlined and centralised in Taunton.

Bet nobody saw this coming! Although Chief Constable Colin Port was quick to jump to its defence:

Chief Constable Colin Port said: "Of course I'm concerned that our workforce are not doing what I want them to do, and that's being out on the streets protecting the public. Yes, this is a new system. Yes, there have been problems. But we're sorting those problems.

Is he working for the police or for IBM, for fuck's sake? This sounds like a press release from SAP's sales team. But as a commenter on the story points out, it's perhaps more to do with the fact his wife was one of the main implementers of the project.

People starting to think rationally for themselves

It took long enough.

The findings, based on interviews carried out on 3-4 February, show that only 26% of people think "climate change is happening and is now established as largely man-made".

In November 2009, a similar poll by Populus - commissioned by the Times newspaper - showed that 41% agreed that climate change was happening and it was largely the result of human activities.

In the latest poll, 38% feel that "climate change is happening, but not yet proven to be largely man-made", while 8% support the statement: "climate change is happening, but it is environmentalist propaganda that it is man-made."

Clearly the most reasonable viewpoint, and the one I share. It isn't yet proven to be largely man-made. I'm not sure where those who purport this to be the case get this from, other than Ed Milliband. People are finally realising it's far more rational and scientific to question what we're told. It took long enough.

The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs' (Defra) chief scientific adviser, Professor Bob Watson, called the findings "very disappointing".

Well they would be for you, wouldn't they. Doubtless DEFRA had all sorts of money-making schemes cooked up based on the fact that people will pay limitless amounts of money in taxes to "avoid climate change". If people start to question your propoganda a bit, they're less likely to want to hand over their cash so easily for something that may not stop it anyway, and we couldn't have that, could we?

"The fact that there has been a very significant drop in the number of people that believe that we humans are changing the Earth's climate is serious," he told BBC News.

"Action is urgently needed," Professor Watson warned.

Yeah, I'm sure it is. How about we start with you shutting the fuck up?

"We need the public to understand that climate change is serious so they will change their habits and help us move towards a low carbon economy."

This can be translated as: "We will be releasing more "Act On CO2" propoganda shortly to justify outrageous taxes on people who can't or won't change their habits"

Of the 75% of respondents who agreed that climate change was happening, one-in-three people felt that the potential consequences of living in a warming world had been exaggerated, up from one-in-five people in November.

Nooooo. Really? Could that be because the consequences (drowning polar bears etc) have been exaggerated? Not to mention ridiculous advice such as unplugging mobile phone chargers, which are now pretty much all switched-mode power supplies that don't take any power when they're not charging a phone.

However, 73% of the people who said that they were aware of the "science flaws" stories stated that the media coverage had not changed their views about the risks of climate change.

"People tend to make judgements over time based on a whole range of different sources," Mr Simmonds explained.

Good. Nothing will annoy the warmists more. If for no other reason that they've wasted time, money (our money!), and energy peddling their propoganda and it's pointless if people are prepared to look at the wider picture.

Richard Madeley tonguing Blair's ringpiece

God, I feel sick.

And people say it's NOT a medieval religion?

People getting a bollocking for Sitting to close to eachother?

Fucking hell, come on. And people are happy to welcome this draconian shit over here?

Shitholes of Bristol List Part 1

The list (which going on this blog already includes Mogadishu (Bristol East) and Southmead) can also be updated to include (in case you didn't realise already), Hengrove, Hartcliffe, and Knowle West.

The Evening Post breathlessly reports this story, as if it's a surprise that kids in Knowle West are pelting buses with rocks.

Buses operating on Bristol's streets have been attacked by missile-throwing vandals nearly 200 times in the past year.

Some of the attacks were by children as young as five.

Three parts of south Bristol – Hengrove, Hartcliffe and Knowle West – have been identified by the city's main bus operator, First, as the worst areas for the attacks.

Of the 193 incidents of objects being thrown at buses in the Bristol network, 46 incidents occurred in Knowle West – a rate of almost one a week.

Oh but don't tell me, it's not the kid's fault, they've got "nothing to do". I guess we should "engage with them", and find out why they're doing it?

They're doing it because they're fucking feral chav scum, who have been brought up by workshy, feckless fucking oafs who can't teach their kids right from wrong, because they don't know themselves. Anyone who even thinks about trying to defend someone who hurls bricks through a bus window needs their fucking head examining.

"Apart from the obvious risks to passengers and staff, the cost to our business from incidents in Knowle has been £23,000 over the last year."

And who do you think pays for it? The non-chav residents of Bristol, of course. The chavs don't use the buses, or they wouldn't be pelting them with rocks.

First bus should just stop the services to Knowle West, then maybe the non-chav people who need the bus and are unfortunately enough to live there might rise up against the chavs.

Don't vote Tory - Mandelson says so.

Fucking Mandelson? Does this guy have any fucking idea about how the public perceive him?

He likened party leader David Cameron and shadow chancellor George Osborne to "Laurel and Hardy", who had "not done the work needed" for government.

This from the guy that had to resign three times in disgrace. Just what authority and credibility does he believe he has, for fuck sake?

Update: Take a look at the video. The years don't show on you, Peter!