Brown "opens up" to Men's Magazine

Ignoring the disgusting "Goatse" image that the title of this post brings to mind, if this is all his advisors think he needs to do to get voters "on side" then he may as well throw in the fucking towel now.

In it Mr Brown insisted Labour can win the next election

I rest my case.

but when Morgan asked how he would make himself "sexy", Mr Brown said: "I can't change in the way you're asking me to."

Replace "sexy" with "competent" and you're closer to the truth.

After Morgan claimed the public perceived him as miserable and dour, Mr Brown said: "I accept I have to do better in the presentation area. I've got my strengths and I've got my weaknesses."

Actually, nobody gives a fuck about his presentation, and the fact that we perceive him as miserable and dour should frankly be far less of concern than the fact we find him excruciating to tolerate as a woefully incompetent prime minister, leading a woefully incompetent party.

Mr Brown went on to say he had "very little money", adding: "It's very expensive being prime minister. I gave up my prime ministerial pension that would be worth around £2 million, but on my first day in office I gave it up.

No, Gordon. Factory workers on minimum wage who struggle to feed their family and loose sleep wondering how the next bill is going to be paid have "very little money". You're never going to have to worry about how the next bill is going to be paid, are you, you despicable revolting champagne socialist. You gave up your prime ministerial pension? How fucking noble of you. But you still have your MP's gold-plated index-linked pension, I guess?

When asked how he wanted history to judge him, Mr Brown said: "That he stood up for fairness, and tried to ensure that people got a fair deal."

Errrr-errrr!

On the subject of entertainment the PM talked of his preference for ITV's X Factor over the BBC's Strictly Come Dancing.

He said: "[Simon] Cowell accused me of wavering in my support for The X Factor, but I haven't. I'm an X Factor fan, and Peter Mandelson looks after Strictly Come Dancing."

Ooh, mince! Chase me Peter, chase me!