Thursday, 27 August 2009

The worst cars on the road

Following on from Obo's fairly accurate description of Renault Scenics, I thought I'd chime in with my own pet hate of a car. Surely, I can't be the only person on the road who gets a feeling of utter dread when I pull up behind one of these fucking things at a junction:

Surely I can't. The utter dread comes from the fact that it's almost a certainty that you'll be stuck there for five minutes as the driver (invariably female, I'm afraid) timidly debates whether the gap coming up in which two buses could pull out comfortably with space to spare is enough for her to pull out in her stupid fucking Ford Ka.

I have absolutely no time for timid, never-should-have-passed-their-test, hesitant drivers when I'm driving. I'm not talking about speeding, I'm just talking about pulling out when there's a safe gap, realising that when you want to turn right on a busy road, providing there's no traffic approaching you from your right it's quite alright to block the lane in order to pull into a gap rather than waiting for both lanes to be clear which often doesn't happen for a good ten minutes, not being almost comically fearful of roundabouts, being able to slot a car into a space in under 2 attempts, etc.

I think it's because of the kind of person that is attracted to and buys a Ford Ka, I'm sure you can guess. If you can't next time you see one, take a look at who's driving it - that's the kind of person I'm talking about. That's how confident I am of how widespread this stereotype is, that I can pretty much guarantee the kind of person who will be driving the Ka.

I just see the Ka as a giant "P" Plate.


microdave said...

Probably the second most ridiculous looking car on the roads (after the Fiat Multipla, that is). I was once told it was designed to look like a "Smiley" face, presumably to keep kids happy. That would explain why they are normally driven by young mothers with children.

swindon_alan said...

Agree with the thread and also the post.

I hate fucking KAs. Indeed, usually driven by females with little substance between the ears or blokes who must have dicks the size of a clitoris which qualifies them I guess.

As for the Multipla - yep, godawful looking. How can the country that produces Maseratis, Lambos and Ferraris design something that horrible?

JuliaM said...

"...after the Fiat Multipla, that is). I was once told it was designed to look like a "Smiley" face, presumably to keep kids happy. "

The kids who are, presumably, IN the car and so can't see it...?

Anonymous said...

You can add smart cars to the list. They got the right idea in Holland:

AngryDave said...

The only thing that fills me with dread than pulling up behind one of these, is having one pull up behind you on a motorbike.
I am always wondering if the driver is on her phone, doing her makeup or just dumb as fuck. Either way i tense up wondering if they have seen me and are going to stop.
I have only ever saw one guy driving one and he was full of road rage. What do you expect when he is driving a girls car. Yes, they were designed for women. How else would you explain something small enough to park anywhere without crashing into anything, and with half it's bobywork (including wheel arches) being the bumper.

The fiat multipla, is by far an uglier car. I had the misfortune of having to drive my ex-bosses, wife's. What a peice of crap!

As for nervous drivers, if they are too scared to drive the thing properly, then they should get the bus. driving everywhere at 15mph and slamming on the brakes every time you see a car coming the other way (and in their own lane) is going to get someone killed. Hopefully the idiot driving, but unlikely.

swindon_alan said...

Can we start a campaign to vilify Ka and Multipla owners?

Perhaps it could called the 'PlaKate the Rest of Us' campaign?

AngryDave said...

Sounds like a plan.

bristolmoose said...

Worst car on the road is not the Ka or the Scenic. It is the Nissan Note, the default choice for old people. If you see a Nissan Note you can guarantee the driver was born before WWII. Hesitation in the Ka is not that big a deal. You may be delayed for a few minutes but at least it won't pull out into traffic without looking as Note drivers do. These cars are apparently also fitted with only 2 speeds. 0 and 38mph. They will do 38mph on an unrestricted A roads and they will do 38mph past a village school with a 20mph limit! They buy them in droves because they are built in Britain so they don't have to buy anything German or Japanese in the same way they all bought Rovers until they went belly up. (Conveniently forgetting that Nissan are Japanese and that Rovers were screwed by both)

Anonymous said...