Tuesday, 8 September 2009

So, chavs, basically

The BBC has published a list of names of schoolkids most likely to act up in class.

And what a fucking surprise the list is:

Pupils called Callum, Connor, Jack, Chelsea, Courtney and Chardonnay were among some of the ones to watch.

Is it safe to assume we can add "Darren", "Tracy", "Arron", "Jordan" and "Tyler" to that list?

Basically, the names that pikey chav parents give their kids. The list of names does not at all surprise me.


Anonymous said...

Whurr's ya dag, Dave?

<--- Pot

Kettle --->

SaltedSlug said...

Wasn't the name 'Chardonnay' started as a piss-take on that shitty Footballers Wives programme?
(for a person anyway)

The Bristol Blogger said...

All that proves is that thick snobs called Emily and Tom - who end up as teachers 'cause they can't do anything else - pick on working class kids while giving Benjamin and Charlotte top marks because they want to get right up their wealthy parents.

bristolmoose said...

Particularly pleased you chose Jordan and Tyler no doubt from personal experience.

Doesn't have the same effect in text though. Needs to be spoken with a broad Bristolian accent, thus:

"Jorrrrden and Toilerrrr!! Come 'ere, you lettle shets! Yore cheps is gettin cawd"

Bristol Dave said...


Not so, that's just reverse snobbery.

Imagine you're in a restaurant, or a bus, or a train carriage, and there's a couple of children screaming, running up and down the carriage/restaurant/etc, ignoring their parents barked commands to stop and generally being a pain in the arse to all those in the vicinity.

What are their names more likely to be? Emily and Tom, or Jordan and Britney?

Anonymous said...


AngryDave said...

It is chav muppets that are going to give their kids chav names, so it makes sense that the kids with those names are going to be the poorly behaved ones. Their muppet parents are not going to teach them how to behave.
Bristlemoose got it right. How many times have you been somewhere and heard someone shouting "Ki/Tyler/Chardonnay (add any chav name here) fucking get here now you little cunt". Most of these parents could not spell Benjamin or Charlotte.