Only a couple of hours left to fill up your tank

Before fuel duty goes up, yet a-fucking-gain, by 2p.

When VAT is included, the increase will actually total 2.3p.

So the actual increase is 2.3p, but what they fail to mention is the actual increase at the pumps will be closer to 5p a litre. It always is, as the retailers see it as an opportunity to grab a bit more profit (not that they really make any on petrol anyway).

The government says the extra duty is needed to help fund public investment

Is it really, Darling, you cretinous fucking loon (I assume it was you to come out with such fucking drivel)? After all, given your dubious economic policies up until this point, couldn't you just print some more money?

When are they going to roll out the line about spending on schools and hospitals suffering if they reduced the duty? It's surely overdue by now.

Fuck sake.

The worst cars on the road

Following on from Obo's fairly accurate description of Renault Scenics, I thought I'd chime in with my own pet hate of a car. Surely, I can't be the only person on the road who gets a feeling of utter dread when I pull up behind one of these fucking things at a junction:



Surely I can't. The utter dread comes from the fact that it's almost a certainty that you'll be stuck there for five minutes as the driver (invariably female, I'm afraid) timidly debates whether the gap coming up in which two buses could pull out comfortably with space to spare is enough for her to pull out in her stupid fucking Ford Ka.

I have absolutely no time for timid, never-should-have-passed-their-test, hesitant drivers when I'm driving. I'm not talking about speeding, I'm just talking about pulling out when there's a safe gap, realising that when you want to turn right on a busy road, providing there's no traffic approaching you from your right it's quite alright to block the lane in order to pull into a gap rather than waiting for both lanes to be clear which often doesn't happen for a good ten minutes, not being almost comically fearful of roundabouts, being able to slot a car into a space in under 2 attempts, etc.

I think it's because of the kind of person that is attracted to and buys a Ford Ka, I'm sure you can guess. If you can't next time you see one, take a look at who's driving it - that's the kind of person I'm talking about. That's how confident I am of how widespread this stereotype is, that I can pretty much guarantee the kind of person who will be driving the Ka.

I just see the Ka as a giant "P" Plate.

Now the environmentalists stick their oar in.

as the police prepare for protests.

Organiser Natalie Swift said: "Direct action is the aim - we are trying to disrupt the climate criminals."

God all mighty. I dread to fucking think what these soap-dodging trustafarians are planning to do. They've already made innocent air-travellers days an absolute misery by stopping flights when they danced about on a runway, who else's day are they going to ruin for a cause they claim to represent the general public's view on, but never actually fucking checked?

Ms Swift said they hoped to cause maximum disruption to whichever of the "dirty dozen" targets were selected, adding: "What they are doing is wrong and has to stop.

"If the government is not going to do it, normal people will have to step in."

Really? Tell me, Ms. Swift, what the fuck is so normal about people who assume a position of self-elected spokesperson for the public and then go and trash buildings of companies? I don't remember being asked if I agree with your views, and I doubt anyone else does either. So what the fuck makes you think you are representing the majority?

You have decided in your own little world that companies that you disagree with have to be stopped, and so you're going ahead and stopping them, claiming to have the support of the public on your side, except you've never actually checked whether this is true. I can't work out whether you actually believe the public do support you or if you just don't give a fuck. Do you think all the families that had their day ruined when you blockaded that airport supported you?

Fuck you Natalie, you arrogant, lofty, presumptious, self-important bitch, and the ethnic peace-bicycle you rode in on.

Voldemort sticking his oar in again

I've just asked my boss if I can leave work early to drive to London and stamp on Peter Mandleson's fucking face.

The UK government is to announce that people who consistently download films and music illegally will be cut off from the net.

Welcome to Communist China.

The announcement will come in the form of an amendment to the Digital Britain report, launched in June.

And how interesting that Pravda get the details, probably from Downing Street themselves, before the announcement is made. I thought John Bercow was supposed to put a stop to this shit?

It is believed that Business Secretary Lord Mandelson has intervened personally to beef up the report.

And what mandate do you have to do that, you sneering lofty cunt? What fucking business is it of yours? Fuck off back to fucking rent-boys in Corfu.

The Telegraph has more:

Digital Britain had suggested that if warning letters failed to reduce piracy by at least 70 per cent, Ofcom, the broadcasting regulator, would have the power to call on internet companies to introduce "technical measures" to combat piracy, such as slowing down a filesharer's broadband connection.

I dread to think. Still, at least they only have the power to "call on" ISPs to do something. The ISPs can presumably, tell them to take a running jump.

As part of the new proposals, the business secretary, currently Lord Mandelson, rather than Ofcom would have the ability to introduce technical measures while their introduction would be up to the minister's discretion, rather than the 70 per cent reduction.

The government directly taking over Ofcom's responsibilities? This sets a dangerous fucking precedent.

And yet that tired, bullshit stastistic is once again wheeled out:

Lord Mandelson is keen to adopt a tougher approach to internet piracy, estimated to cost the movie industry alone around £1.4 billion a year.

Every time I read this sentence I get more and more annoyed, because it's just such blatant bullshit. The estimation is clearly based on the completely wrong assumption that if you couldn't download the film you would have bought it. What a load of shit. Most of the stuff I've downloaded I wouldn't have bought, because a lot of it just hasn't been worth the money.

A spokesman for the Department of Business Innovation and Skills has said there was no discussion of online piracy when Lord Mandelson met Geffen and there was no connection between that meeting and the government's new proposals.

The arrogance is breathtaking. They really do think we're stupid.

Fuck you, Mandelson.

Jarvis Cocker jailed for child porn

Well, not really. But it fucking looks like him, doesn't it :-)



Now, not that I in any way condone child porn offences but it's very telling to see the baying mob with their burning torches and pitchforks already all over this.

disgusting he should get more than 10 months for this he should be imprisioned for at least 10yrs i better not see him in the street around my area as the youths around here would do a better job than the courts etc

this is disgusting! to think my daughter spent several weeks there but was luckily never left alone!! 10 months is insulting to the justice system! what are they thinking!

Shouldn't these people be reading The Sun?

Also liked the typical media ludditery:

The court heard police established Kearley had used sophisticated computer software to scan the internet with German search terms, rather than use standard search engines such as Google.

Was it? Another language. Well, that is certainly "sophisticated", isn't it.

I hope the fucking knife slips

During Voldemort's operation.

Lord Mandelson has been admitted to hospital to have an operation for a "benign condition of the prostate", a government spokesman has said.

I wish it wasn't benign. And it was on his fucking face. That face that is so trustworthy...



I don't understand how this guy is even given any credibility by the press, for fucks sake. He had to resign twice from government in disgrace, and yet the BBC and others still think he deserves column inches. If I was at the BBC and Downing Street contacted me to "feed" me some news (which they regularly do) about Peter Mandleson I think my response would be "Fuck off, he's unelected, we really don't care." As the general public's should be.

Sharia Law, that's pretty normal isn't it?

Well, no, actually.

The 32-year-old will receive six lashes at a woman's prison next week in what is being viewed as an example of the growing influence of Islamic hardliners on the country.

The mother-of-two who lives in Singapore with her husband, paid a fine of £860, but declined to lodge an appeal so she could get the punishment over with and put the episode behind her.

What the fuck, I mean for god's sake; how the fuckitty-fuck can anyone take this religion, law - whatever the fuck they want to call it - seriously?

It's no fucking coincidence that Osama Bin Laden recorded those shitty VHS videos in a cave - because it's where the supporters of this entire fucked-up governing-of-civilisation want to live.

Prosecutor Saiful Idham Sahimi said: "This is the first case in Malaysia. It is a good punishment because under Islamic law a person who drinks commits a serious offence."

Well, heaven fucking forbid?!? Alcohol? What the fuck was she thinking? I mean, bombing people to shit in the name of martyrdom, well, apparently that's just fine, but drinking beer?

But in Kartika's case the rattan cane will be lighter than those used to punish men. Sharia law dictates it be no thicker than the little finger and the cane cannot be lifted so high the arm is away from the armpit. The court ordered the jail's female governor administer the sentence.

Well, thank god for that.

Fucking sandal-wearing halitosis-plagued donkey-fucking luddites.