Ian Hislop bitchslaps Yvette Cooper

What a revolting woman she is.

Fuck you, Ofgem

The "energy regulator", Ofgem, has "warned" that domestic energy bills in the UK could rise by 60% by 2016-17.

Hooray, you fucking cretins, now you've given the already profiteering energy companies carte blanche to raise prices by 60%. I thought the role of the regulator was to, what was it now... ah yes, fucking REGULATE the industry, not hand them golden opportunities on a fucking plate when the mood takes them - explains the actions of the fucking FSA, anyway.

Yes, it may be true that there are valid reasons that prices will go up, but what the fucking fuck is the point of "warning" us? Is there anything we can do about it, besides emmigrating? Now you have issued the warning, even if the prices don't need to increase by that much, they probably will anyway, because the energy companies know they won't get much stick from consumers because they've been "warned".

"These are big challenges. Consumers are already enduring high energy prices," said Ofgem chief executive Alistair Buchanan.

Interesting that you recognise that. Shame you're then so willing to encourage future price rises.

Makes you proud to be Bristolian

.....or not.

A couple from Bristol who scammed almost £50,000 in benefits have been given 77 years to pay the money back.

Brian Payne and Carol Cripwell were also spared immediate jail sentences because of the "catastrophic effect" it would have on their six children.

77 years to pay it back? What a fucking joke.

Miss Brunner said the couple supported six children at home and the benefits they received went on household bills and food.

...and Lambert and Butler, Lambrini, Stella, a Sky TV subscription, Pay As You Go mobile phones and the Bookies, I shouldn't wonder.

She told the court their youngest child had medical needs and they had been striving to support the others.

Hahahaha, it's fucking "ADHD", isn't it. Isn't it, you fucking worthless pikey bitch? But let me guess, "he's a good kid really"?

A comment on the Evening Post article notes that there isn't just 6 kids.

Miss Cripwell has 9 children of her own ranging from 1-21, unless these were virgin births she's been scamming for more than 7 years. As for the statement that the children need her to look after them that's a laugh, she never has, they are out of control and the younger ones would probably benefit from being in care. These kids are the scammers of the future.

Look at the fucking scrounging chav scum:



Turning up to court in a t-shirt and a hoodie - nice.

Foamy on the environment

Confirmed: EU *are* going to be monitoring blogs and social networking sites

As confirmed on WikiLeaks, using a system callled INDECT.

This file, marked "confidential", describes development of an EU-funded intelligence gathering system ("INDECT work package 4") designed to comb webblogs, chat sites, news reports, and social-networking sites to in order to build up automatic dossiers on individuals, organizations and their relationships.

I wonder if they'll comb this one? If they do:

FUCK YOU, YOU AUTHORITARIAN SELF-IMPORTANT CUNTS. FUCK YOU, WITH BELLS ON. STICK YOUR MONITORING SYSTEM UP YOUR FUCKING ARSE.

Misprint on the BBC

Here.

MI5 did not link John Cairncross to the Cambridge spy ring for 18 years

Surely they mean Paedophile Ring? Just look at those fucking glasses!

More fucking interference

This time, from the nannying, hectoring Department of Health.

Homer Simpson is known for munching doughnuts and swigging beer, but the Department of Health has decided that his family’s lifestyle is healthy enough to enlist them in an anti-obesity campaign.

The government is to sponsor episodes of the cartoon serial about the dysfunctional family for three months in an attempt to improve the nation’s diet and increase exercise levels.

God all fucking mighty. They're interfering with cartoons on TV now. What next?

Officials hope that families slumped in front of the Channel 4 programme will see a reflection of themselves in The Simpsons and realise they should probably be taking more care of their health.

Tut! Families not doing what the Department of Health wants? We can't have that!

What, you think I'm joking?

Gillian Merron, the public health minister, said: “The Simpsons are a much-loved, close-knit family facing some of the everyday challenges that modern-day families go through. They provide a popular and engaging way to get the message to real-life families about simple ways of improving their diet and activity for a healthier lifestyle.”

The health department acknowledges that the Simpsons’ lifestyle is not entirely healthy and this is reflected in the slogan for the £640,000 advertising campaign: “Supporting The Simpsons: Sometimes.”

A spokeswoman added: “The beer-drinking and doughnut-eating is clearly not what we would want.”

You hear that? People drinking beer and eating doughnuts is not what the Department of Health wants. And of course, how you live your life is entirely up to them, as far as they're concerned. How very dare you disagree with the voice of authority.

Ye fucking gods.