Saturday, 11 September 2010

Bring it on!

So the BBC reports that the government is going to ban wheel clamping on private land, but that motoring organisations have claimed that the mouthbreathing, knuckle-dragging fucktards that currently affix clamps to our cars will instead turn to ticketing.

Fucking brilliant! Bring it the fuck on.

Why?

Because currently if some orangutan in a van clamps your car, there's not REALLY a lot you can do. You can try and remove it without damaging it and return it as lost property, you can angle-grind it off (hoping they don't catch you in the process) and you can pay the extortionate "release fee".

With tickets, it can just go straight in the bin, and there's not a lot they can really do to you. They can take you to court, but they're never going there due to their shady business practices. They're just going to rely on the 30% of fucking idiots who will just pay up without question.

I can't wait.

13 comments:

AngryDave said...

It's about time something was done about these overzealous bully boys! What they do is in my opinion criminal behaviour. If i tried to get money out of someone by taking their car as a 'hostage' and getting a few mates to join me in intimidating money out of them, i am sure i would end up on tyhe wrong side of one of my cell doors.

AngryDave said...

I forgot to say.
Welcome back Dave!

David James must go said...

Good to see you back, Dave. I kept checking and thought you'd been kidnapped by Barbara Janke or something. Get in there, my babby!

Socialism - Just Say No! said...

I dont see what your problem is. If you want to leave your private property (car) on my private land, then you can fucking well pay me my private rent. It's my land, not yours you fucking socialist freeloader. If you don't like it, then buy your own bloody land to park on. Alternatively, if you don't want to pay the rent I charge, why the fuck shouldn't I smash the car up? That way I get the ammusement of playing with a pick axe handle for 10 minutes - that's worth good money in my book.

Bristol Dave said...

I'm far from a socialist freeloader, and I have no problem with peopple wanting to keep their land clear. However, I do have a problem with large-foreheaded, mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging pikey chimps buying a shitter of an old van and a clamp and resorting to business practices that could at best be described as "fucking dubious" and at worst could be described as outright criminal. I welcome the introduction of this law as it means these fucking gimps might have to turn to a different form of employment as printing out tickets is clearly beyond their intellectual capabilities.

The fact the car is clamped rather than just fined shows clampers have no interest whatsoever in keeping land clear.

Socialism - Just Say No! said...

Firstly, I couldn't care less whether or not the people I pay to keep my land clear of other peoples property being stored there without my consent, have large foreheads, foul breath or drag their knuckles on the ground. I don't even care if they pick their noses and wipe snot on their shirts. That they succeed in keeping my land clear of freeloaders is what matters.

As you have already pointed out yourself, freeloaders will simply throw the tickets in the bin - behaviour you clearly advocate. This means that people such as myself are forced to go through lengthy, drawn out procedures to claim what is rightfully ours when spongers such as yourself use our property without consent.

This brings me onto my next point, namely that a car being clamped on my land does not show that my employees or contractors have no interest in keeping my land clear, rather, it shows that I want the money owed to me paid, and that I don't want to waste my own hard earned cash whilst listening to your legal aid funded lawyer whining on about how you need your car to get to your latest (dead end) job interview.

For all your talk of libertarianism, you show quite clearly where your true principles lie - solely with your own personal wants. Shouting about the right to protect your own property and financial interests, while seeking to deny others the right to protect theirs is not libertarianism, but adolescent sociopathy.

Finally, I'd advise you not to worry about the "gimps". From your cartoon caricature it is quite clear that you have had few if any personal dealing with them. Most of them are far more libertarian than yourself in outlook, and I can assure you that many of them are very creative when it comes to making money, and will find plenty of other work safeguarding the rights of property owners from freeloaders such as yourself.

Bristol Dave said...

drawn out procedures to claim what is rightfully ours

What an interesting perspective. What part of the ridiculously inflated and entirely arbitrary fines charged by these clothed orangutans, pray tell, is "rightfully" yours? Last time I checked, trespass is a civil offence, and so long as the person parking in a private car park has caused no damage they "owe" the owner of said car park precisely fuck-all.

You can moan about funding legal aid-funded lawyers all you like but I think we both know this is utter, utter, bullshit as "private parking infringements" never reach court. Why might that be? Could it be, for example, that the entire principle is rather legally dubious, as it rests on a supposed contract that exists between the driver of the car and the owner of the land, and if this supposed contract is actually legally binding, then it is subject to the Unfair Terms in Consumer Contracts Regulations 1999 - meaning the clampers would have a hard time recovering a fraction of what they charge.

Do you think a gorilla with a clamp, you, or one of your legal aid-funded lawyers could prove to a court losses that you have personally incurred by someone parking on your land equal what they were charged to get their car back? Because I rather think you couldn't. So why don't you take your completely misguided accusations of socialism (because if you actually bothered to read some of my posts you'd realise that's really not my political leaning) and shove them up your withered, ignorant arsehole?

And then fuck off.

Anonymous said...

You lost that one Dave.

Créer votre sondage en ligne said...

Welcome back Dave. I am regular reader of your post and always waiting for new one.

Layne Arlina said...

Dave, i love your raving rants! most enjoyable to stumble across!

Layne,
Bristol

http://layne-arlina.blogspot.com/

Waste Collection said...

Nice blog I lkke it :)

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