Relaunch soon

Watch this space.

The truth about Bristol City Council and Open Source Software

I've been contacted by someone who is trying to get a perfectly reasonable comment past the moderators on The Register for this article which almost reads like an advert for Bristol City Council's IT department. The fact they're not letting this comment through speaks volumes.

So what is this information?

Well, it concerns this:

The council has been seen as something of a poster child for open source public sector contracts in the past. In November 2004 it declared plans to shift 5,000 workers off proprietary desktop software over to Sun Microsystem’s StarOffice 7, in a move it said at the time would save £1.4m by 2009

I'm told this is not how it went down. Apparently, there were a number of terrible decisions made with this roll-out, chief of which was to not set the default file type that it opened/saved to Microsoft Office, instead keeping it at OpenDocument Format. Apparently this was done because it's the "European Standard" (never mind that it's not any kind of standard, given that nearly all companies use MS Office), but this decision, combined with poor communication and training of staff resulted in many,many staff thinking that they wouldn't be able to open and save the MS Office documents they and external companies used, so they applied for an "Exception", ensuring they could still use Office.

So what's the outcome of this?

At the end of the StarOffice roll-out, there were more individual MS Office licenses purchased and in use than before.

So instead of saving £1.4m they actually lost money.

Nice to see they're so honest about it.

Ugh, I feel sick

A YOUNG Catholic who received a personal blessing from the Pope during his visit to the UK said it has given her renewed hope and faith.

Really.

Alice O'Neill, from Westbury-on- Trym, was among more than 3,500 Bristolians who visited London and Birmingham over the weekend hoping to get a glimpse of the Holy Father during his four-day trip.

Among them was TV presenter Sherrie Eugene-Hart, who led prayers in front of 80,000 people and described the event as like "being backstage at a Michael Jackson concert".

Is this because the pope is practically dead too?

When she kneeled at his feet, Pope Benedict XVI took her hand and gave her a blessing.

Miss O'Neill said: "I can't describe how amazing a moment it was.

"I was right next to him and he gave me a blessing. It was mesmeric, just so profound.

Nice, so he limply grabbed her hand and mumbled something indecipherable at her. Yes, very profound indeed.

"He is such a gentle man. He sometimes seems stern when you are far off and from the things he says, but his messages are so hopeful.

Like his messages that condoms actually increase the spread of AIDS, or his extensive covering-up of child abuse within the church?

"But if there had any danger of me drifting away from the church there isn't any more. It has really confirmed my faith."

Confirmed your delusion, more like.

The wonders of the cult of personality.

Turns out nobody gives a fuck

About a religious nutter in a dress visiting the UK.

Thousands of tickets remain unsold for events during the visit of the Pope, who arrives in Scotland on Thursday.

The largest organised event is an open-air Mass at Bellahouston Park in Glasgow on the opening day of Pope Benedict XVI's trip to the UK.

The capacity has been reduced to 80,000 after a slow take-up of tickets.

When will the god botherers realise that they religion just isn't relevant in today's society? Nobody gives a fuck - and that's how it should be. As far as I'm concerned, religion is a personal thing. If you're stupid enough to beleive in some made-up deity written about in a work of fiction, then that's entirely your choice. But don't fucking foist it onto me.

And I'm fucked if the taxpayer should pay for the pope's visit. If the god-botherers think he's so important, why the fuck don't THEY fund his pointless fucking visit in its entirety?

FUCK YOU, you arrogant, bible-bashing, child-abuse-advocating, outdated, irrelevant, invented-deity-worshipping CUNTS.

Bring it on!

So the BBC reports that the government is going to ban wheel clamping on private land, but that motoring organisations have claimed that the mouthbreathing, knuckle-dragging fucktards that currently affix clamps to our cars will instead turn to ticketing.

Fucking brilliant! Bring it the fuck on.

Why?

Because currently if some orangutan in a van clamps your car, there's not REALLY a lot you can do. You can try and remove it without damaging it and return it as lost property, you can angle-grind it off (hoping they don't catch you in the process) and you can pay the extortionate "release fee".

With tickets, it can just go straight in the bin, and there's not a lot they can really do to you. They can take you to court, but they're never going there due to their shady business practices. They're just going to rely on the 30% of fucking idiots who will just pay up without question.

I can't wait.

Tinishya Marshall

A local girl who's currently missing.

Now, obviously the family are distraught, and I wouldn't want to wish a missing child on anyone.

She went missing in Southmead, which the non-Bristolian readers will probably remember was the setting for the "Cor blimey, aren't chavs racist" Panorama episode. A particularly nasty chav area of Bristol.

However, a couple of things sprung to my mind at least - firstly, "Tinishya"? Really? How the fuck are these chav parents coming up with these ridiculous names for their kids? Do they just throw a handful of Scrabble letters on the floor and draw inspiration from that?

Secondly, nobody bar the Daily Mail (of course) has really mentioned the fact that she's 14 with an 11 month old daughter - I'm assuming because becoming pregnant at 12 or 13 is just the norm now.

Which is why it's particularly amusing that her mum who set up the Facebook group about Tinishya has "When I was your age, I lost my tooth. Not my virginty." listed as one of her "likes" on Facebook. Oh, the ironing.

If anyone needs descriptions of Tinishya and her daughter, Sophie (at least she chose a normal name, for fuck's sake) they were both wearing velour tracksuits at the time. Yes, even the 11 month old daughter. As if you needed telling that.

Sorry I fucked off for so long

I kind of ran out of things to talk about. Politics had got boring, nothing really local happening, no juicy council info. A lot of people have gone the same way. Only I decided to come back.

And straight back in with...