Extra £825,000 to "ease" congestion in Bristol

Gushes the Beeb:

An extra £825,000 is to be ploughed into tackling congestion in the greater Bristol urban area.

The money was awarded by the Department for Transport after targets to ease congestion in the area were exceeded.

Hooray! Does that mean we might see improved traffic light synchronicity (which would benefit ALL road users), maybe removing a good few sets of lights? (ditto)

Of course not. Something that motorists might benefit from? Unthinkable!

The money will be spent on further encouraging people to walk and cycle to work or take up public transport instead.

Great. A poster campaign I shouldn't wonder. What a great way to spend the cash. Because of course, we all need to be "encouraged", so if we choose not to walk or cycle, there must be something wrong with us, right? I guess they feel that previous useless poster campaigns weren't "on message" enough.

Work will also be carried out to improve junctions to help traffic flow and shorten bus journey times.

I rather suspect this translates as "Work will also be carried out to help bus flow and shorten bus journey times".

The money goes to the West of England Partnership, which brings together councils in Bristol, South Gloucestershire, Bath and North East Somerset, and North Somerset.

This would be the same WoEP who are planning on turning one of Bristol's best cycling assets - the cycle path - into a bus lane?

The TRUTH on "Being Offended"

They're Waking Up!

A government proposal to charge people with fixed phone lines 50p per month to help fund ultra-fast broadband has been condemned as "unfair" by MPs.

Too fucking right it's unfair. Why should I pay a higher price on my broadband so some Morlock who has chosen to live in the middle of buttfuck-nowhere can enjoy faster internet access? It is not my problem and I fail to see why I and everyone else living in most areas that do have fast speeds should stump up the cash to solve it.

We're probably going to get this shit anyway though:

The government said the plan was the "best way to drive further investment".

It maintains that faster speeds are "vital to the UK's growth".

What the fuck kind of "growth" (economic or otherwise) do they think we're going to get from people who can't get fast internet access currently? Do they think some fishwife living in Abergavenny is going to rescue the economy if she has 2MB broadband?

But the Department for Business, Innovation and Skills said that the government wanted everyone to "access the huge social, economic and health benefits" that high speeds offer.

"Our analysis shows that without intervention, the market will only reach up to 70% of the country, so it's vital we act now to ensure no area is left behind," said a spokesman.

"The 50p duty we have proposed is modest, fair and affordable and is the best way to drive further investment in our networks."

Bis believes the tax will allow a £1 billion upgrade of the UK's digital networks and will be of particular benefit to rural areas.

...and of no benefit whatsoever to most people paying the tax who don't live in the middle of nowhere.

New Labour Socialism at it's finest - taxing the many to benefit the few.

The BBC always pick the best images

...of Gordon Brown



They've clearly selected a photo of him mid-speech, because it makes him look like the gurning mong that he is. They used to do it with David Blunkett too:



You can see the toe-curlingly awful speech that Brown's shot came from here. Especially the bit when he says he knows that Labour has made mistakes (yeah, you don't fucking say) and that he knows he's not perfect, which is clearly something he's been told that he must say rather than something he wants to say or even feels that he should.

An interesting comparison

Map of UK Benefit Claimants


Map of Labour Voters



So presumably we'll see some extra benefits offered to people in the run up to the election. Also known as "buying votes with my money".

Morlocks demand more money

In a BBC Article that states that a hung parliament would be "best outcome for Wales", they quote

At the top of such a list would be a demand for Wales to get what Mr Jones calls "its fair share of funding... so that we can protect our schools and hospitals from the cuts in public spending".

So, Mr Jones, what would your idea of "fair share" be? Given that Wales has a higher percentage of benefit claimants than the UK (and consistently always has - source - with large numbers of people claiming incapacity benefit), 25% higher spending on health than England and that the Barnett formula means that you get far higher spending per person than England, I would agree it is unfair, but not in the same way that you would, I'm sure.

Yet another speech "leaked" to the press

Gordon Brown is to question the Tories' credentials as a "modern, mainstream" party, saying the image they "present" is undermined by their policies.

He will tell a conference of centre-left European leaders that Conservative policies would endanger the recovery and hurt middle-class families.

Wasn't John Bercow supposed to stop all this shit?

The BBC has learned that, on Saturday, Mr Brown will outline the four main themes he hopes will help Labour to a fourth term in government.

I wonder how the BBC "learnt" that? Well, it's because Number 10 have sent them the fucking script.