Sunday, 31 May 2009

Fucking Merkins


A prominent US abortion doctor has been shot dead at a church in Wichita, in his home state of Kansas.

Dr Tiller, one of the few US doctors who performed so-called late-term abortions, had been vilified by some anti-abortionists.

His clinic had often been the site of demonstrations, and he was shot and wounded by an assailant 16 years ago.

Killing in the name of life is quite possibly the most fucking stupid thing I've ever heard of.

Gordon Brown at his most pathetic

In my opinion, anyway.

Note the usual, tired, meaningless catchphrases:

* "I'm dealing with the issues"
* "Difficult times"

Seriously, the guy is desperate. He still thinks that if he repeats all this shit "in that wooden and perfunctory way" ((c) Dan Hannan) that people will believe it! Surely one of his advisors has been kind enough to let him know that doesn't work with the electorate any more? Even to me, it's clear that he's on his last legs. It wouldn't surprise me if he stood down before the autumn, but when Parliament has broken up for summer, in typical Brown cowardice.

And what was that comment at the end about "a leader that has lead us through difficult times before"? What the fuck is all that about? Precisely when has that happened so far, you slack-jawed monocular Scottish piss-streak?

Saturday, 30 May 2009

Well, that didn't last very fucking long

Just paid £1 a litre for petrol. It was only earlier this year we were paying 82p a litre. I thought about working out how much of that pound is tax, but realised it'd just make me too angry.

You fucking cunts.

Friday, 29 May 2009

More Filesharing Lies

From, perhaps unsurprisingly, those old favourites - Government Advisers.

Around seven million people in the UK are involved in illegal downloads, costing the economy tens of billions of pounds, government advisers say.

NO, you fucking cunts, you can't keep saying this - it's just not fucking true. Saying that filesharing "costs billions" is a complete and utter lie because it relies on the entirely false assumption that ALL the songs/films/software that are shared would have been bought legitimately had the filesharing not been available.

This is clearly bollocks.

I download quite a lot of movies. Would I buy the DVDs of all the films I download? Would I fuck. I'd take out a LoveFilm subscription and copy the DVDs. I only download them because it's frankly less effort.

What about all the kids swapping songs/albums? Would they pay the full retail price of the CD if the filesharing wasn't available? Would they fuck.

But then you realise the assumptions are even MORE flimsy:

Researchers found 1.3m people using one file-sharing network on one weekday and estimated that over a year they had free access to material worth £12bn.

These figures have just been pulled out their arse, haven't they? I probably have access to that kind of "virtual" worth, if you include the whole of bittorrent. But do I download it? No, because I don't want the entire Sex in The City or the Spice Girls' back-catalogue.

You fucking sneaky cunts. That whole news story is just full of assumptions and lies.

It also has frankly worrying statements like this one:

The fact that so much on the internet is free only added to the confusion, it said.

Wait for the government to start "charging" for sites it feels necessary.

Thursday, 28 May 2009

Tube drivers demand 5% pay rise


Jesus fucking christ, what are you people on? I know the union always goes in on a high figure in the hope they're "met half way" on the figure they always wanted anyway, but in case you hadn't noticed, you fucking self-important twunts, there's a recession on at the moment. People are being made redundant all over the place (unfortunately for me, a lot of it is in IT).

You already earn well over £30k for a job that I could do standing on my head. I'm not being funny, but half the trains (e.g. Victoria Line) drive themselves anyway. You're only there in case anything goes wrong, which it rarely does, and as a mannequin because people won't get on a tube without a driver.

So what the fuck makes you think you deserve that kind of a rise? This fucking cunt needs his face stamped on. Repeatedly.

Suddenly I'm reminded of this:

Typical fucking Tory


A Tory MP has agreed to repay £20,000 in tax and mortgage payments, much of which was claimed from public funds towards staff quarters in his home.

Staff Quarters? Fucking servants??

Having discussed his claims with the Tories' internal scrutiny panel on expenses, Sir John said he had agreed to repay an estimated £20,000 in claims he said were, with hindsight, "inappropriate".

He looks like that £20,000 will barely make a dint in his finances. In fact, he looks like a fucking prick.

Wednesday, 27 May 2009

Bristol City Council and Southwest One

Are Bristol City Council trying to smuggle ties to the heavily-criticised Southwest One through the back door?

News on the grapevine is that BCC are implementing a new website (their current one is pretty shit, mind) and that this time around, they've got some consultants in to oversee the process - Mouchel.

Why might this be relevant?

Well, Mouchel, who used to be called Mouchel Parkman, were key players in the Southwest One deal. From Southwest One's 2007 press release:

Another key element in this deal is that it is two “excellent” authorities working closely with IBM and its contractor, Mouchel Parkman.

Still, it appears Southwest One aren't doing particularly fantastically at the moment:

Hundreds of computer experts are trying to fix glitches in Somerset County Council's £30 million computer system, which is still yet to be used.

The expensive system, called SAP and planned to be used across a myriad of council departments, was originally supposed to be fully operational at Somerset County Council on February 1.

But that date was soon changed to April 1, then June 1, but with days to go, council staff have now been told that the date has been delayed again – with no new date has yet being given for its completion.

Now hundreds of IBM experts have been drafted in to try to get the fiercely controversial scheme up and running.

Maybe it's just IBM's software is shit?

The blog post Nadine Dorries was forced to remove

In which she alleges that the reason the Telegraph have published all the expenses information is because the Barclay Brothers, who own it, are very anti-EU and hope that this information will lead people to vote UKIP and the BNP into office - apparently she was forced to remove this post following legal action by the Telegraph.

It's avaiable on Wikileaks.

Just park a couple of facts for a moment, which you may not agree with but are factual.
The first is that MPs have always been encouraged, by whatever means possible, to draw down their ACA allowance in full. This is because it was upped in place of an appropriate pay rise.

The rules surrounding the ACA were deliberately sloppy in order to maximise the opportunity that MPs had to draw.
This was always felt to be the safest political method to remunerate MPs, rather than face the media backlash of a pay rise.

Parliament is in chaos. The public are angry. The Telegraph has upped its circulation.
There are 650 members of Parliament. In any walk of life, in whatever profession, you will find people who are dishonest. It will always be thus as long as we are all human!

The Telegraph are uncovering a few cases of fraud, but not enough, so they are more than slightly embellishing some of the stories. I write as a case in point.

Enter the Barclay brothers, the billionaire owners of The Daily Telegraph.
Rumour is that they are fiercely Euro sceptic and do not feel that either of the main parties are Euro sceptic enough. They have set upon a deliberate course to destabilise Parliament, with the hope that the winners will be UKIP and BNP.

A quick online check of the Barclay brothers and their antics on the Island of Sark is enough to give this part of the rumour credence.

Another rumour is that the disc was never acquired and sold by an amateur, but it was in fact a long term undercover operation run by the Telegraph for some considerable time, carefully planned and executed; and that the stories of the naive disc nabber ringing the news desk in an attempt to sell the stolen information are entirely the work of gossip and fiction.

These rumours do have some credibility given that this has all erupted during the European Election Campaign and turn out is expected to be high with protest votes, courtesy of the Daily Telegraph, or should I say the Barclay brothers.

Now, if this is all a power game executed by the BBs, how would they do that?
It is a fact that these men are no fools and are in fact self-made billionaires.
I would imagine and believe that if any of this is true, they know the British psyche well enough to whip up a mood of public anger, hence the long running revelations in the DT.

Where do I get this from? Well, at heart I am just a cheeky scouser. I like to go into the rooms of the faceless and nameless in Parliament, sit on their desk and ask pertinent questions like: who are you? What do you do? I've made friends with one or two. One in particular I am very fond of. He is a mine of very astute information; and whilst in his office yesterday, we chunnered over the 'what is this all about?' question.

He reckons this is all a power game. That the British public are being worked like puppets by two very powerful men. Whipped up into a frenzy to achieve exactly what they want.

His very poignant words to me were “if any of this conjecture is true, Parliament will become full of racists, fantasists, and has-been celebrities. We will be rendered impotent and may never again regain the authority to withstand the pressure, opinion and whims of the overtly wealthy.â€

Scary stuff

True? Not true? You decide. Personally I'm dubious, given another post in which she whinges about how unfairly MPs are being treated over this, and that the allowances are just that - allowances - not expenses, and that it was deliberately made easy to get as much as possible from it as no PM had the balls to increase MPs wages.

So they're not high enough already, Nadine?

My heart bleeds, you disgraceful grasping little shit of a woman.

Friday, 22 May 2009

I've never seen such arrogance

Will there be enough piano wire?

A Tory MP has apologised for a BBC interview in which he said critics of his expenses claims were simply "jealous" of his country house.

In an interview with Radio 4's The World At One on Wednesday, Mr Steen suggested his critics were envious because he lived in a large house that resembled Royal residence Balmoral, and had trees in the grounds that needed lopping.

During the interview, the 69-year-old former barrister claimed ministers had "mucked up the system" by introducing the Freedom of Information Act. He added: "What right does the public have to interfere with my private life? None."

Listen to the fucking cunt:

Fuck you, Steen, you arrogant, lofty cunt. You'll fucking get yours yet. Christ allmighty, your sense of entitlement just fucking beggars belief. How dare you treat the public with such disdain? I think you even top Jackboots for the contempt you hold for the people who put you in a position to do this.

Fuck you.

Yet more proof, if it were needed

...that people in the UK will vote for a freshly-laid runny turd, so long as it's wearing the right coloured rosette.

Labour has held on to a council seat in the Salford constituency of Communities Secretary Hazel Blears, despite her involvement in the expenses row.

I spent 4 years in Salford at university. It's a fucking shithole.

High unemployment, high teenage birth rate, low school leaving age, low intelligence - classic Labour stronghold. I can't say I'm surprised they all still vote Labour, they're terrified of losing their "benfids".


Some very clever video editing going on here...

Tuesday, 19 May 2009

Empty words from Brown

Any Labour MP found to have "defied the rules" with their expenses claims will not be allowed to stand at the next general election, says Gordon Brown.

What a load of shit. According to all the MPs caught up in this, their claims were "within the rules".

So who exactly will be allowed to stand at the next general exlection?


Whether they get voted in, of course, is a completely different matter. I think Labour are going to be (rightly) crushed at the next election.

Good work!

+++ Michael Martin to stand down +++


Good. Maybe all the MPs that were troughing can follow his example?

Monday, 18 May 2009

Utterly Pointless car scrappage scheme starts

As I've pointed out before, it's totally fucking pointless.

But it's started today anyway, even though Ford and Honda aren't taking part.

It's going to just fall on it's arse isn't it.

Shame Mandy can't just fall on his arse (instead of other people's, fnar fnar)

Sunday, 17 May 2009

Why DOES Jandroid call herself a Chief Executive?

As Old Holborn rightly points out, she's a fucking Town Clerk.

And from where I'm sitting, where I notice that for her £180k a year salary the best she can do for the city is "market it better", she's doing a pretty piss-poor job. Still, let's see what she's going to be paid for the next year, and how lavish her office refurnishing is..

And to "John", who recently posted a comment on an earlier post I did on this subject:

Being Chief Exec is not a `non-job` and anyone doing it properly will be one of the best in their field as they will be head of the local civil service and in charge of the day to day management of the Council with the Leader etc providing policy and strategy.


Best in her field? Look John, I'm not being funny, but have you seen any videos of Jan? She can barely string a sentence together, and that's not an exaggeration. Precisely what has she brought to the city of Bristol? What on earth has she done to make me feel that her fucking outrageous salary funded in part by MY COUNCIL TAX provides good value for money? Giving speeches every now and again? Anyone off the street armed with a copy of James Barlow's Council Buzzword Bingo could do it to her standard, and I'd put money on many, many people doing it to a better (and far more articulate) standard. If she was the best in her field then God help us frankly, because as far as I'm concerned in the public appearances on video that I've seen of her she hardly seems like the best representative for the city. And I'm not, like the Bristol Blogger, referring to her "saggy tits and bad teeth", I'm talking purely on brain-power (or lack of), though I totally support the Blogger's mandate for criticism of her personal appearance, given her Chairman Mao-esque obsession of getting her photo everywhere.*

A "non-job" is precisely what Jandroid's job is. She has the pretence of responsibilty but in fact fast-flying bucks stop long before they reach the plush purple carpets of her office, and if you don't realise that then you're even more naiive than your post suggests. She doesn't have to really come up with any ideas, as that's what the "stategic" team she employs is paid to do (who then employ people below them to do it for them), she doesn't have to really make any key decisions (she has her strategic team again), she doesn't have to really spend time replying to people's letters (she has a PA or two to do that for her), so what DOES she do? I can provide a long list of what I do to justify my frankly meagre (in comparison to hers) salary - I bet she can't.

* An interesting thought would be if Jan tries to get the legal team to take action against the Blogger's post about her personal appearance, since the best defence against slander is truth, in which case they'd have to prove that her teeth aren't bad and that in reasonable opinion, her tits aren't saggy. What an image.

Thursday, 14 May 2009

Poor old Jandroid.

Poor old Jandroid.

As reported on The Bristol Blogger she's deperate to push Bristol forward for a world cup host city.

But if they don't even want to hold a Rugby World Cup there, what chance do we have? Really?

Fuck sake, Jan, you've got more important priorities than trying to "market" our fucking city as a world cup contender.

Get a grip!

Tuesday, 12 May 2009

Laurence Robertson - a grasping cunt

A grasping cunt, with his wife - who he paid out of his expense allowance to write him an appalling website

This cunt, according to many news sources, has apparently said in an email that
I personally am not prepared to become poorer at this stage of my career.
And it's no fucking wonder too. He is joint top of the table (with all the other troughers claiming the maximum amount) for Additional Costs Allowance - £23,083 - as well as joint second on the "Incidental Expenses Provision" (whatever that is) - £30,374. He also, perhaps unsurprisingly, paid his wife to write his appalling website out of his £10,015 communications allowance (see the note at the bottom of the site. I wonder what her bill was?

This is just one of many cunts who have been abusing their position.

Still, Stephen Fry seems to think that it's not important and we have more important things to worry about, and that journalists are terrible for fiddling expenses anyway.

Now, as much as I respect you Stephen, that wasn't the best thing you could have said. For starters, Journalist's expenses, however fiddled, are not funded by the public purse, are they? (except for the BBC)

Friday, 8 May 2009

It's only going to get worse

An escaped mental patient with severe learning difficulties, Squirrel Nutkin, and The Demon Headmaster, earlier

You think the best expense claims have been revealed? Not a fucking chance, the Telegraph aren't stupid. The ones they've revealed so far are just the most important figures in the Labour Party. Then comes the most important figures in Conservatives, then Lib Dems, then all the backbenchers.

It's not one party - they're all at it. Why else have the opposition been so subdued about this? All their snouts are well and truly rammed into the trough. You think the ones we've seen today are bad, I can guarantee they'll be nothing compared to what's likely to come out,

This won't change.

You know what to do.

Ooh....this is gonna be fun

And so the skeletons come marching out the closet....

Members of the Cabinet are facing tough questions after full details of their expenses claims were published by the Daily Telegraph.

They include a claim for £6,500 made by Gordon Brown to pay his brother for a cleaner for his Westminster flat.

Justice Secretary Jack Straw received a 50% discount on the council tax on his second home, but claimed the full sum.

I bet this is just the tip of the iceberg. You fucking know there's far worse to come than this.

But hang on, it's all OK, because:
Deputy Labour leader Harriet Harman said no resignations were likely as all claims were within the rules.

When will these fucking cunts stop using this fucking excuse???!!!!!

It's not even an excuse. The rules are set and overseen by the MPs themselves! They really, really do just think we're fucking stupid. I wonder who on earth told Harman, Brown, et al that "within the rules" is going to be just the kind of winning, trustworthy response that they need to get the public "on side"? They deserve to get their P45 as well, as do most of the MPs. In any other profession (other than Euro MP, of course) you would have been sacked. No ifs, no buts, abuse of expenses is fucking FRAUD. They CANNOT be allowed to get away with this. This isn't even a party-political thing, you can guarantee MPs from all parties are it it. How fucking DARE they treat us with so much contempt? I tell you what, if they're just allowed to get away with all of this unscathed it'll be the final nail in the coffin for British politics.

Thursday, 7 May 2009

Shop her!

Lots of people over on Old Holborn's blog have.

You know you want to.

What, MORE?

The Bank of England is going to inject another £50bn into the economy.

Has anyone lost count yet?

Wayne Rooney's Merc for sale

Honestly though, why would you want to buy it?

I bet it fucking stinks of Lynx Africa and Bacardi Breezers.

I hope you kept the receipt...

Yeah yeah yeah, I know, breaking boundaries of medical science, etc etc. And it does apparently look a lot better than before.

But to be honest, it does rather look to me like they transplanted an arse onto her face instead. I think the technique needs perfecting somewhat.

Wednesday, 6 May 2009

Another example of TELLING us how it is

At a BBC news article here.
Ministers say public support for ID cards is high

What possible fucking measure is this based on? Everyone I've ever spoken to is at best, indifferent (that's if they're fucking stupid) or dead-against it. So now ministers are "repeating in that wooden and perfunctory way" (© Dan Hannan) anything they want us to believe, in the hope that we'll just believe it?

They want to take a long hard look at themeselves if they think that's going to keep them in power.

Tuesday, 5 May 2009

"The right thing to do"

How often do we hear this phrase now from the government?

Mr Brown told a press conference in Glasgow that the measure had been "the right decision to make. It was the right decision for investment, and it was the right decision for the future of our pension system, and it was the right decision for the future of our economy."
Snot-Gobbler on the removal of pension tax credits

As delegates shouted "Give us our money", she insisted the Government had made the right decision.
Jackboots refusing to backdate the Police's 2.5% payrise

What the fuck is this about? Who fucking fuck are they to tell us which decisions they've made are the right ones? At least when Tony Blair told us he thought invading Iraq was the right decision, he qualified it with "I thought" or "I believed". And people said he had delusions of grandeur (which in all fairness, he did). Gordon doesn't even bother with that - he and his henchpeople are now TELLING us what the right decisions are.

What do they think, that if they say something twice then it becomes so?

Vince Cable had it spot on with Stalin/Mr Bean. But notice that the government has never really attempted to refute the "Stalin/Diktat/etc" labels which are now often applied (in my opinion, correctly) to most decisions they make and/or how they are implemented. I wonder why this is. Could it possibly be because they know it's impossible to refute them?